Jeremy Kyle "the self righteous berk"

Another average morning!! There is only so much Jeremy Kyle I can listen to before screaming. Mummy doesn´t like it when I start, but I don´t want to listen to DNA results every morning! I wonder if one day mummy will drag daddy on his show to find out if he is really my daddy. I think he must be my daddy because everyone says how much I look like him. Auntie Kelly said it today. I expect someone else will tell me the same thing tomorrow.

Auntie Kelly is about to have a baby. Another playmate for me. Mummy and Auntie Kelly were talking about piles. I am not sure what these are, but they sound painful. I hope I never get them.

Mummy and daddy are not being very nice to me lately. They keep on trying to stick this bottle in my mouth. I have heard mummy explain to daddy that they need to do this to make me put on weight, but I don´t like it. The milk tastes different. I hope they stop giving me this horrible thing soon.

Jabs

My herjabs were fine yesterday. I don´t know what all the fuss was about. I felt a sharp pain in each of my thighs. I cried for a little while and then forgot all about it. This lady put a plaster on one of my legs. Not sure why though.

Toddlers - freaks!

Good morning baby-fans! Since my last entry I have done all sorts of things! I have been to play groups many times, they are strange places where all the mummies sit around and have a chat and a drink and all the babies are left to run around. There is a special area where some of the babies can be left, I mean, the young ones.

Some of the older ones that can walk *they are called TODDLERS* do not always get watched by their mummies and they come over to the young baby area and bash some of my friends across the head. My mummy is always watching so it has not happened to me yet.

A few days ago, mummy was very ill and she was up being sick all night. She did not feel like playing with me so I went out with Daddy for the day. We went to some shops, one was called HARGREAVES but it was rubbish in there because ALL of the clothes aisles were too close together to get the pram through.

Today I am going to the doctors for something called "herjabs" I don´t know what HERJABS are but Mummy and Daddy are not looking forward to it. They always say "I am dreading taking Frea for herjabs next week" etc. If they do not like it then it must be bad. I am scared.