Jeremy Kyle "the self righteous berk"

Another average morning!! There is only so much Jeremy Kyle I can listen to before screaming. Mummy doesn´t like it when I start, but I don´t want to listen to DNA results every morning! I wonder if one day mummy will drag daddy on his show to find out if he is really my daddy. I think he must be my daddy because everyone says how much I look like him. Auntie Kelly said it today. I expect someone else will tell me the same thing tomorrow.

Auntie Kelly is about to have a baby. Another playmate for me. Mummy and Auntie Kelly were talking about piles. I am not sure what these are, but they sound painful. I hope I never get them.

Mummy and daddy are not being very nice to me lately. They keep on trying to stick this bottle in my mouth. I have heard mummy explain to daddy that they need to do this to make me put on weight, but I don´t like it. The milk tastes different. I hope they stop giving me this horrible thing soon.